I consider myself a preeminent pessimist. If it is possible to be professionally pessimistic I would have coined the term and added it to my business cards years ago. They would read something like this:
Drew
Professional Pessimist and all around Curmudgeon
Designer
Vicarious Visions
“It’s not a beautiful day outside, it’s sunny.”
“Get off my lawn you pesky kids!”
With that said I read this little piece of priceless insanity over at Overheard in New York. Here’s the quip from a local Starbucks.
[Skinny girl takes box of equal out of her pocket and puts half the packages in her coffee.]
Friend: What are you doing? You’re going to get cancer!
Equal girl: Yeah, but I won’t get fat.
Yes, that’s right, dying horribly from a debilitating disease is much more suitable than living a life with a few extra pounds.
For as jaded as I feel I am I still derive some sick sadistic pleasure from existing. My mindless day to day tasks hold some merriment. I have a wife that I love, a supportive family and a group of friends that (heaven help them) enjoy my company enough to still invite me around despite my rather bleak outlook on the world.
But this girl at Starbucks, so consumed in something of apparent importance has valued physical appearance over her very existence. Last time I checked there are many overweight women and I’m willing to wager most of them still live successful and enjoyable lives despite their bits of extra them.
Are we really that base of a people that being physically attractive is more important than health? I’m at a stage in my life where children are on the horizon. Am I concerned with if they’re going to be hot or not? No, I am hoping they will come out safe and healthy as that is better than a lot of parents get.
So shame on you nameless girl from a NYC Starbucks for having your priorities muddled. Well, in my mind at least. Perhaps I have it wrong and my values skew in the wrong direction. Maybe my lack luster attempts to look presentable are actually detracting from my life and those around me. It’s a thought I haven’t given much consideration to, but I suppose it’s possible.
But then again anything is possible. Like, we may all die tomorrow from an unseen meteor careening to earth through the intergalactic highway, or the nearby center for infectious disease may release its contagions much in the style of the Umbrella Corp and we’ll need to deal with a zombie apocalypse.
Are those things likely? No. Does it mean I should have a shotgun in the trunk of my car to defend myself and my loved ones from vapid trendy women who need a sandwich? *cough* I mean… zombies. Sorry, those buttons on the keyboard are like right next to each other.
\\drew
